WHEN SILENCE IS NOT GOLDEN

“Silence isn’t golden, Silence is silver ,and it hurts when you strip it away” Author Unknown

Often times, we have been told about how we should keep quiet for the sake of peace and allow the other party have their way. In our families, organizations and schools, silence has always been regarded as golden. This way, we not only broker peace, we also show a deep sense of maturity and grace when we do so. And more importantly, we “avoid trouble”.

I remember many years back when I had a quarrel with a cousin. While I ranted on, she kept quiet to the admiration of everyone around and I was chided as being immature, and she, the mature and graceful one. After much ado, I apologized, put everything behind me and went about my usual business for days till the “bomb” exploded after I mistakenly stepped on her toes or so. Then she went all out. Poor me looked lost as her acidic utterances hit me right below belt. So much of being graceful.  She listed my sins since only God knows when, called me unprintable names and when others tired to interfere; she marched angrily to her room and stayed there for two days straight. It took the intervention of our dear old grandmother for her to step out of the room.

While it’s noble to keep quiet during misunderstandings, we must be willing to talk about how hurt we feel when the smoke fizzles out. The refusal to do this will lead to pent up emotions and angry outbursts at the slightest provocation which might have dire consequences on the relationship. Mutual understanding is what sustains relationships and the best way to resolve conflict is to confront them.  The aggrieved party should swallow his pride to initiate contact and apologize first. He / She should seek clarification by explaining that he/she doesn’t understand what happened and allow the other party respond while not forgetting that the focus is to resolve the problem and not to trade blames. As you both establish forgiveness, remember never to compromise on some principles; especially those bordering on morality, legality and humanity.

In many organizations, top management expects the employees to keep quiet about certain policies enacted within the organizations. In fact, it is not uncommon for management to be proactive to customers’ complaints and keep the employees permanently mute on matters that affect them.  And in cases where employees are expected to fill questionnaires about their  working  conditions ,it is not surprising that employees often are unwilling to speak up about concerns or ideas (positive and negative) that would impact this effectiveness. Often times the issues for which employees chose not to speak up has to do with perceived injustices.  In such cases, many employees choose not to speak up because they believe doing so will result in negative consequences for them; like being fired or being in the bad book of the boss.

While tact and a lot of commonsense are required in voicing ones opinion in the workplace, management must enable the free flow of information in all directions.  And since you can’t improve effectiveness without happy employees, the management should reduce the perceived risk of speaking out to employees for effective communication and increased productivity.

This can be achieved through the following:

1.  A suggestion box should be made available where employees can anonymously write about issues affecting their effectiveness and welfare.
2.  Periodic departmental meetings should be held so that management can truly understand their employees concerns.
3. Also, management should create positive, immediate outcomes for those do speak up by rewarding and/or recognizing that behavior.
4. Educate managers and supervisors about the consequences of their negative behaviors.
5. Hold managers accountable for their behaviors.
6. Create a workplace climate in which a designated level of risk is acceptable.
7. Create communication processes that reduce the risk of negative individual outcomes.

The above notwithstanding, employees must remember that privileges and rights comes with responsibility. Gossips, small talks and back biting not only diminish one image in the workplace, it robs one of every form of integrity too.  Positive outcomes of speaking up are key to organizational growth, while negative concerns should be expressed with tact.

Remember that people trust what they see rather than what they hear. Thus for employees to move away from a climate of silence into productive and safe dialogue, the organization’s leaders consistently must act in ways that demonstrate they will receive all feedback positively.